What is a Doulo?

The first time I became aware of the need for specific support for fathers was in 2024. I was working with a couple preparing for birth, and I noticed that her husband checked out after he understood his role as supporter during labor and birth. When I asked the couple to share information about hubby to help me better support him, the wife told me I should be prepared to be the primary support because her husband was squeamish. I found that interesting, considering he was in law enforcement. My dad was also in law enforcement, and I knew there were situations witnessed by officers that could toughen the most sensitive temperaments. He smiled vaguely, but didn’t comment on his wife’s assessment of his ability to support her during birth. I realized then that there were aspects of the father’s experience during pregnancy, birth and postpartum that were left unexplored..

I asked my husband to join me during this couple’s subsequent prenatal appointments to connect with this father, and address his needs more meaningfully. Bryce agreed. I watched their relationship evolve, from talking about sports, to discussing marriage and a husband’s roles, to the private anxieties of approaching fatherhood. They began talking one-on-one, and this husband began confiding in Bryce about his plans for his family. It was a true blessing! After working with this couple through postpartum, and seeing the value it brought to the couple and our service, I recruited Bryce as the Doulo for CopperSkye Doula, to ensure that we truly provide holistic support for couples.

I recently asked Bryce to describe his role as Doulo. This is what he had to say.

A Doulo is a man who walks with a soon-to-be dad, helping him navigate his thoughts, words and actions toward his partner during pregnancy, birth and postpartum. I want to inspire Dad through leadership and encouragement so Dad can be the best version of himself in order to lead his wife and children. Women physically become mothers immediately. when they find out they are pregnant. They begin having hormonal and mental changes, and experience much more that men will never know or comprehend. Men, on the other hand, become fathers mentally the moment we hear the words, “I’m pregnant.” The mental wheels speed up. My job as Doulo is to help men slow down the mental wheels through prayer and conversation. I remind future fathers that life happens one moment at a time, and to mentally stay in the moment. I help men prioritize the areas where their mental energy needs to be used, and provide strategies to conserve mental energy. Being a Doulo is to empower dads with techniques to manage their growing responsibilities, and to teach them to efficiently and effectively communicate that to their spouse. I strive to help them understand the roles of provider, protector, and cultivator of love in the home and relationship.

The three areas of preparation I focus on are: 1) how to emotionally support their partner during pregnancy; 2) to recognize their role during birth as encourager, protector and leader; and 3) the importance of managing expectations during postpartum based on evidence and not culture.